Why is it always me? Deep down, I knew this would happen. I knew that it wasn’t going to last. Still, my life is unbearable. I’m trying to convince myself I am dreaming or that someone’s playing a sick joke on me just to be laughed at. Every time there is a slight slimmer of hope, it all goes down the drain. What else is there for me to live for? Questions like this are overflowing mind, there’s no point anymore.
As much as I had wished it could’ve lasted longer, it was inevitable. Now, slumped on a desk in a room that isn’t even mine, my bloodshot eyes from the hours of crying, I still can’t come to grips with it. He’s gone. Vanished from my life in a second. I’ve been through so much and been so brave, but this is what has broken me. It’s like the whole universe is crashing down on me. I can’t even write or say his name without feeling my weak heart unable to beat inside my chest. I thought he loved me as the way I did him. But he loved another. He loved her more than me and had to leave.
We met about 6 months ago. I was alone, emotionally drained and found myself at Palace Stalls Bar. It was then when, at my lowest point, I saw the most handsome man glancing over at me. He came over and told me that I shouldn’t have been alone in a place like that. He instantly took me over to the Country hotel where we talked for hours and hours. It felt so right. He was so interested in what I had to say. No one had ever cared about me like the way he did. He was so charming and easy to talk to that, at that moment, he gave me a reason to live.
He soon found out that I was penniless and that I was about to be kicked out of the old place I was staying in at the time. He offered me a place to stay, money that was enough to keep me going for a while. Yet, he never asked for anything for himself in return. He was the most selfless man I’d ever met. He then told me he had to go, told me that he had another life he had to return to. A life that I was not a part of.
Yet even though it didn’t last, he was the best thing that happened to me. I’ll never forget him, not until the day I day, whether that be tomorrow or in 30 years. I love you Gerald.